If there is one “it” item you buy this fall season, it should definitely be a pair of velvet booties. This chic and fun alternative to suede graced the runways this past February and is now available in a wide variety of colors and price ranges.
Holy crap this week flew by! And this month! How is it already the middle of September? We’re currently in that awkward stage between summer and fall where it’s like a million degrees outside but summer’s technically over. Stores are pushing boots and coats and I’m still trying to get away wearing tank tops and shorts.
The perfect alternative? The denim dress and booties combo. This denim dress is perfect. The denim fabric is thick enough that it doesn’t feel or look like a summer dress and the booties add just a touch of fall without making you sweat your butt off in 95 degree weather. But we’re getting there – slowly but surely the temperatures will start to drop. And then I’ll finally be able to wear these gorgeous boots in public – you know, instead of just in my air conditioned apartment like a crazy person. Come on, I know I’m not the only one that does that?!
As you read in this post, I’m clearly not ready to let go of summer. But I’m slowly incorporating more fall hues into my wardrobe like the warm tones and mix of neutrals in this boho in the city look. I’m still a sucker for anything in black, but I’m starting to add tan into my regular clothing rotation. Starting with this suede mini skirt. It took me a while to find the right proportioned mini skirt for my petite frame. But this one is a winner. I first featured it here, but I’ve gotten a lot more wear out of it with sweaters and simple tees as we head into fall.
I also mentioned before that I wasn’t going to NYFW this year, but I’m so excited to be spending some much needed time with family instead. I’m currently on a plane en route to LA and will be meeting up with my family in Palm Springs. Sunshine, palm trees and family time. A perfect weekend.
“We are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We don’t need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own ‘happily ever after’ for ourselves.” – Jennifer Anniston
We’re going to try something a little different on the blog today. Today I’m letting you in on a little secret… I don’t understand why anyone would want to get married. Before I get rocks thrown at me and told what a horrible woman I may be, I encourage you to read on with an open mind.
I’m 29. About two years older than the median age for women getting married in 2016, and yet I still don’t have “that feeling”. I’ve never been the girl to dream about her future wedding. It’s not that I never wanted to get married, it was more so that I just didn’t think about it. I never fantasized being walked down the aisle or my future husband crying when he saw me. Truth is, I’ve never really been that kind of girl.
When I met Steven, things were different. I had already been through several relationships, dated other guys and had already had so many jobs I’m embarrassed to admit it on this blog. And where was I? Well, it definitely wasn’t New York City like I had originally dreamed. I was living at home… with my parents. Steven was also living at home at the time, so we were both in a similar situation. I won’t go into the details of how Steven and I met – we’ll save that for another time.
Steven and I just immediately clicked. I’ve never been a believer in “the one” or “soulmate”, but if I did, this would be the closest feeling. I felt it pretty early on and I still do to this day. Last month (I think?) marked mine and Steven’s fifth anniversary. He would tell you it’s in December, but I’m more than positive it’s in August.
The longer we’re together, the more the marriage question comes up. And the more I get asked, the more confused I get. Am I supposed to have this unwavering want to get married? Does my lack of interest in marriage reflect my relationship? This is a relationship built on trust and support, and sure the occasional debacle but most importantly, love. Does marriage reinforce that? Or even more concerning, does marriage change that?
Steven and I have now lived together for more than 3 years. We adopted our sweet Charlie Boy together and we moved to Texas. What’s missing? Over and over I ask myself, how is a marriage different than what we already have? I don’t need him to wear a ring to make me trust him. And vice versa. Marriage is also a tradition based on reasoning that I don’t necessarily abide by. Religion? Nope. Economic benefits? I have student loan debt – there’s no benefit for Steven here! We don’t have kids, and I don’t believe that you need to be married to even have kids.
Traditions are just that, traditions. There’s no real rhyme or reason to it anymore. Sure, traditions are important to some. But I’ve never been one to follow anything blindly. And the tradition of marriage is not something I can totally get behind. It’s all novelty to me. The party, the planning… sounds more like an expensive and stress-filled nightmare than a fantasy. I love Steven. But I don’t feel we need to get married to reinforce that love. Nor do we need to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding to make us or everyone around us feel better about our relationship. Because at the end of the day, it’s just that: our relationship.
I never wanted to be the girl, or woman technically, waiting to get engaged. I hear a lot of women declaring their desire to get engaged (some not even in a relationship) and I can’t help but ask, why? What do you get out of it? A pretty piece of jewelry? Love? Shouldn’t the relationship already be built on love? And isn’t that the most romantic and important part of it all?
When you don’t need marriage to make the relationship real – now that… that is love. Nothing to prove, nothing to show off. Just pure and real love. So what happens when you know you have that? You look up rings! Totally kidding.
This is my advice to women, especially young women, to focus on your own self confidence, love, and a strong relationship instead of obsessing over a ring and feeling the societal pressure or need to be married. Build a platform for a confident you and a fulfilling life. The rest will eventually fall into place.
I know Labor Day is the unofficial end of summer, but is it really fall yet? I don’t think so. It’s still +90 degrees out here! That’s still summer in my book. Also, I refuse to let go. Summertime sadness anyone? While everyone else is pulling out their scarves and sipping on pumpkin spice lattes, I’m still chasing after that glorious sunshine.
I’ve been craving anything tropical lately – sunshine, greenery and coconuts (coconut Americanos are officially my new favorite thing)! I’m heading out to LA/Palm Springs this weekend and I’m so excited for some California sun. I’m ditching NYFW this year for some family time and I’m pretty happy with that decision.
Is it weird that I still get homesick?? It’s only been 2 years, but I still miss it every day. Palm trees, the mountains, my parents… not particularly in that order haha! I’ve been in a little bit of a funk lately so I’m hoping California will be just what the doctor ordered. I’ve been feeling unmotivated, lazy and just “blah”. It’s been a few months since I’ve flown back so I think I just miss my closest friends and family.
Beyoncé recently spoke on happiness: “[We] have to take the time to focus on our mental health – take time for self, for the spiritual, without feeling guilty or selfish”. So I’m doing what’s good for my soul and heading home.
Anyone else out there move far from home as an adult? How do you cope? Tell me your secrets haha!